6 Ways to defeat WordPress spam LIKE A BOSS

So you wanna prevent comment spam, huh? You’ve come to the right place. Me and my gang aka The WordStreet Kids know how to make that happen. Get what I’m saying?

Listen here, spam moderation can be time consuming, see? You don’t have time for that junk, see? Leave scumbag spam chasing up to us.

First, let’s meet the rivals and get to know these scumbags for who they really are.


As you can see they are a pretty nasty bunch. There are thousands of them suckers running around the streets trying to steal your hard earned SEO. Let me introduce you to the group.


First there’s me, Akismet, aka The Boss. I’ve cleaned the streets of millions of scumbag spam over the years. The keys I give away tell me who’s who. These keys are important so you gotta earn them. So if you need one, I’ll give you one. Just ask and tell me who you are.

Now, meet my most trusted partner, my number two, my stopper of crime: Stopper McGee.

Dashboard > Settings > Discussion

Stopper McGee is in charge of managing who gets into where and how. You’ll have to tell him your preferences. I recommend the following.

Turn the follow setting off: 

  • Allow link notifications from other blogs (pingbacks and trackbacks) on new articles


Turn the follow settings on: 

  • Comment author must fill out name and email
  • Automatically close comments on articles older than – 356 days
  • Anyone posts a comment
  • A comment is held for moderation
  • Comment must be manually approved
  • Comment author must have a previously approved comment   
  • Hold a comment in the queue if it contains (2) links

Tweak these settings how you want. It’s up to you.

The next person you want on your side is No Follow Alphonso. Trust me, this guy won’t let anyone steal your goodies.



No Follow Alphonso likes to utilize the No Follow blockade to help stop scumbag spammers from stealing your SEO credit. No one gets SEO credit unless  No Follow Alphonso says so!

I understand sometimes me and No Follow Alphonso aren’t your type. No hard feelings. We have many members in the The WordStreet Kids for you to choose from. Sometimes people just need a different style. In that case, meet the next member, WP-Spamshield Sammy.


WP-Spamshield Sammy hates one thing and one thing only: CAPTCHA fields. He gets rid of scumbag spam in a different way. No keys required. No tough questions. Just pure action. He’ll make sure nobody bothers you and your party again.

Speaking of tough, Goodbye Captcha Later is as tough as they get.


If there’s one thing Later hates it’s whiny babies who cry when he roundhouse kicks them scumbag spammers outta town. His specialty is spotting and preventing brute force. They don’t see him coming! If you have an especially nasty bunch, call Goodbye Captcha Later.

Now for something a little sweeter. You’ve heard about her name through town and scumbag spammers dare not even speak her name. It’s the one, the only: Anti-Spam Beetrice.


Don’t let her sweetness fool you. Anti-Spam Beetrice is as tough as they get. So sweet but stings like a bee! She’s put a lot of scumbag spammers away for good and she can do the same for you and your party.

Any questions? I didn’t think so. Just know me and The WordStreet Kids have your back anytime you ask. But you gotta ask.


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